true tales of woe



Why is the Diaper Genie the worst baby gift ever? Because it is the best baby gift ever. Once you pass the courses required to learn the drop-click-spin technique only a Harvard physics major could master, it takes those putrid, nasty ass diapers that your precious angel has created and cocoons them like a string of pearls, wrapping them in odor-shielding plastic goodness. This works so well that you can actually forget about the diapers until the thing is full. Which you most certainly will once the kid is potty trained. A year and a half later, when you notice the Genie under the pile of toys you bought the kid for Christmas that they never play with, you then get to deal with the string of diaper-pearls you accidentally left in there, which amazingly enough STILL don't stink, but look like something you saw in a 1930's horror flick in the middle of the night at your grandma's house.

Worst. Gift. Ever.