2 weeks, 1 day

It's been quite interesting to me, this watching the death of my marriage. It's been slowly dying for a while now, but now the FF>> has been pressed and things are moving right along.

When we first got here, well, there were angry drunk phone calls and we won't count those. Once Drunky McDrinkypants sobered up a bit, there were some surprising desperate and frequent calls. Calls where my job was but to listen. Calls full of I love you's and I miss you's. Calls suspiciously lacking I'm sorry's, but that's a tale for another day. There were how are you's and how are the kids and let me talk to them, even the baby who only eats the phone and isn't it really hot there and what about those Broncos calls. There was always and I love you at the end of those calls.

After about a week, those calls turned into more of the oh shit sort of calls. 'Oh shit, you're really living in Phoenix, oh shit, I really might lose my job, oh shit I made a totally ass of myself' calls. Not so much with the how are you and the I love you. Not so much with the talking to the boys. As a matter of fact, those calls didn't end with I love you at all. They did end with a lovely, awkward pause right at the end of the call where the I love you should go, so it was obvious that it was being omitted.

And here we are. Present day. These calls are fun. They are like fact finding missions. They are lists. 'Today I went to 2 meetings, kept my job, bought some bagels and watched Dude, Where's My Car'. As curious as I am about how he is spending all of his newly found free time, I have kind of a lot going on right now and am not so worried about how long he was in the john today. These calls don't contain the word You. Or They. But there is a whole lotta Me. Which is the natural process of these sorts of things, I suppose. These calls don't end with the awkward pause anymore. Their ending is the oki'lltalktoyoulaterclick ending.

Time of Death: 8:04 p.m.

It's funny how it just dies all of a sudden. It's funny how, though I feel weird about it, I don't really feel sad about it. It's like 10 years just never happened, like these kids just fell out of the sky, like we're right back to barely knowing each other, except without the front seat of the car and the foggy windows and the 'what was your name again?' It's just all so very matter-of-fact.

And I am totally ok with it. What are those 5 stages I am supposed to be going through? Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance? Woo. That's a whole other post.