Wiimergency!

How to repair a Wii in 10 easy steps:
  1. Watch your wife totally lose her shit over a little jingle in the Wii.
  2. Sit back calmly as wife goes at the Wii with tweezers and stuff.
  3. Giggle when you remember the fate that befell the old VCR, and the $75 bill incurred 8 years ago to remove $0.73 from car cd player.
  4. Listen as wife calls EB Games (site of purchase).
  5. Wince when wife hangs up and calls Nintendo.
  6. Shiver a bit as you hear words like, "Not covered under warranty" and "shipping to where?"
  7. Clutch wallet in one hand while wife talks on the phone; start shaking the Wii with other hand.
  8. Notice slight glimmer in wife's eye at the mention of Richmond.
  9. With no way to know that wife has been looking for an excuse to go have coffee with this chick, but fully aware that something has made her very happy indeed at the prospect of driving to Richmond to drop off the Wii, and being quite certain that's it not that "I just found a way to save $20 on shipping" glimmer that she gets when she's cheap, ATTACK THE Wii. Go out it with ruthless abandon. Try to open the casing. Get out the really little screwdriver. Get that sumbitch fixed, and quick. She's got something up her sleeve, that one.
  10. *Timing is crucial on this step* Right as wife (is she flirting with the Nintendo dude or something? Why the hell is she so happy all of a sudden?) writes down Repair Order number, right as she's doing it, close eyes, hold breath, pray a bit, and extract one small, white button that goes with nothing in this house from the belly of the Wii.

Voila! The Wii is repaired, you just saved $75, and now your wife doesn't get to go hang out with bloggers. Mission? Accomplished.