Close, but not quite

Potty Training in 13 easy steps:
  1. Wait until they are ready. They'll let you know.
  2. Get a potty chair for every room the kid spends time in. Yes, that means you should probably buy stock in potty chairs. So. Worth. It.
  3. Get used to naked babies. Take their pants off. If you leave their pants on, they will pee in them. Even if you buy really cute Dora panties. It doesn't work to tell them not to pee on Dora when the potty they are to pee in also has Dora's face plastered all over it. It DOESN'T work. Trust Mr. Lady on this one.
  4. If you must put pants on your kid, put pants on that are way too big. Make sure the crotch of those pants comes no higher than their knees. They won't feel the pants on their bottom, and won't pee in them. Make sure they can get them off easily, though.
  5. If you put pants that are too big on them, get used to bruised babies. They're going to trip. A lot.
  6. Pump'm full of liquid. Break your no juice rule...let them go crazy on the juice, the water, the popsicles, whatever. Make them have to go.
  7. Go with them. Let'm watch YOU pee. Let'm watch you poo. Which is seriously gross and really uncomfortable, but it works, yo.
  8. Don't worry about overnight. Staying dry overnight takes much longer. Keep a diaper stash on hand for outings (naked babies at the mall in December are frowned upon.)
  9. Ask them every ten minutes to go potty. Set a timer if you have to. You will get so good at this that you will find yourself rolling over in the middle of the night, rubbing your husband's head, and asking him in your sweet voice if he needs to go potty. He will not be amused.
  10. Create a reward system. Lollipops work, stickers work, but 3 kids in, I have found that 'You DID it!'s and high-fives kinda work best.
  11. Keep potty fun. If they manage to stand in front of the potty and pee all over the floor, that still counts. High fives are in order. (They WILL stand in front of the potty and pee on the floor, by the way.)
  12. Make sure you keep the potty chair accessible. Do not, under any circumstances, allow your older children to come home and throw their backpacks and coats on top of the potty chair. Do not let the potty chair get shoved into the corner when no one's looking. Keep it in the middle of the room. Especially when you're cooking dinner and are all distracted.
  13. In the event that the potty chair does get buried in a pile of clutter, be sure that you do not have another Dora item in the living room, like, say, a Dora push car
    who's seat has a lid and a hole in it, one small enough that a toddler can sit on it easily, all by her big girl self, while you're slaving away in the kitchen. You know, one that seems, to a toddler, to be a perfectly acceptable substitute. Horrors will ensue.