oh shit, this can't be good*...

WASHINGTON - President Bush will have a colonoscopy Saturday and temporarily
hand presidential powers to Vice President Dick Cheney, the White House said.

Dear God, whose name I do not know, please let Sunday's headlines read...

"Power behind the throne receives throne, feels throne up a bit, spends a little "man" time with throne, hands throne back to *ahem* rightful owner unharmed."

*I suppose this is a good point in which to mention that Dick scares the bejesus out of me. I mean, yeah, I can't stand W, sorta the same way I can't stand my small-minded, simple twit of a step mother with her nervous cackle and stupid, poorly delivered attempts at comedy, but I am only afraid of W because of whom he chooses to associate with. He's like the geek that drags around with the really evil tough guys so they won't steal his lunch money or make out with his mom. Dick is one of those guys. I am afraid of Dick* on every level. I wouldn't sit next to him in a movie theater, even if the only open seat to Transformers was right next to him. I sure as hell don't want him holding my country by its balls.

**Dick CHENEY, that is.