Me, who hasn't had coffee yet, totally blowing him off: Uh huh.
Him: See how pretty it is! It's got one sequin on it for every way you are the prettiest and best mom ever!
Me, totally repenting: Oh, honey, it is beautiful! Thank you so much! If I didn't have puke breath, I'd kiss you!
Him: Isn't it great? I worked really hard on it.
Me, picking up elastic bedazzled thingy of undetermined usage: You certainly did! (still have no clue what he contributed, btw) I love you so much, I'm going to buy you a pony!
Him: Just buy me a math book, okay?