You Will Bring NO SUCH THING Back, Young Man

My oldest son is a carbon copy of his father.  They both overdress for every and any occasion, they both obsess over gadgets, they both listen to punk and rock, and they are both fairly proper in their demeanor.

I've been trying to get that kid in a tshirt and a pair of Adidas with some hiphop on the stereo for 10 years now, and I am falling him.  Every time I get him a new CD, he scoffs at me, "Mom, I don't like that kind of music."  Is he 80?  What is wrong with him?  What 10 year old burns through Devotchka cd's?  MIne, apparently.

You can only imagine my surprise when I went downstairs to do some laundry last night and his little boom box was singing this:
Come here girl
Go ahead, be gone with it
Come to the back
Go ahead, be gone with it
VIP
Go ahead, be gone with it
Drinks on me

I just kept on doing my laundry and casually asked him what he was listening to.  He said that 2of3's friends dad had made him a CD of kid's hiphop songs.  I asked what he thought of it and he said he really liked it.  I snickered and then said, "You DO know this is Justin Timberlake, right?"  "NO WAY, mom!"  "Yup, sure is.  And you said you didn't like him."  "Every other song I've heard of his, I haven't liked, but Bringing Sexy Back is really good!"

There comes a time in the life of every parent when something happens, some small little something, and it scares the crap out of you.  Maybe you think it'll be when they stick their first pair of tweezers into a socket, maybe it'll when they ride their first bike, maybe you imagine it will be when they walk to school alone for the first time.  It's not; it's when they hit puberty and you hear SEXY come out of their mouths for the first time.

It was so effortless, so fluid, like it was some word he was born to say.  LIKE HE KNEW WHAT IT MEANT.  I can still hear it ringing through my head, right this very second; the hiss of the S, the choked sound of the EX, the Y that I think had just a little too much gotcha! in it.

I was stunned.  Shocked.  The wind kind of knocked out of me.  I don't know why, I don't know what I was expecting.  The song is called Sexy Back, and the version he has is the PG Justin remix so I have no problem with him listening to it, but still.  My kid said Sexy.  Like it was spaghetti or raincoat.  Like it was any old normal word.

I'm not ready.  I'm Just. Not. Ready.