Rate the Hate in a can

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's week three with no recipe. I just haven't been in the cooking sort of mood, you know? It never fails to amaze me how long kids will go on Honeycomb and tacos. They don't smell great, but my big pots and pans have enjoyed their little siesta.

Anywho, I thought I could at least talk about food today, and so, without further ado, I offer you the list of foods I prefer, nigh, demand, from a can.

  • Refried beans. I used to work at this little diner in East Denver, and they made every-stinking-thing from scratch. Including their refried beans. They were really good, don't get me wrong, but you set me up with a can of Old ElPaso beans and a block of cheese, and I'm all good for a while. At some point, I may require a potty, but otherwise, I'm good.

  • Beets. I have a beet problem. I love them and crave them like a pregnant chick craves broccoli. What? Didn't you crave broccoli? Moving on...I always just get the canned beets at the grocery, but I decided to live on the edge a little, splurge on myself, and get the fancy ones in a jar. Um? Gross. My BFF Molly tells me that the restaurant my buddy Ryan just opened up makes a kick-ass beet salad, but until I try it, I'm sticking with the cheap ass canned ones.

  • Cranberry Sauce. I can whip up a cranberry chutney that will bring you to your knees. I make my own cranberry sauce all the time, because it's easy and good and brainless. But when it's just me, when I'm all alone and no one's looking, man oh lordy do I love nothing better than a big ol' spoon and a cheap can of cranberry sauce.

  • Tuna. Any foodie worth their salt has made, eaten or in some way danced around the subject of seared Ahi. It's all the rage with the kids these days. I would rather (insert colorful and perhaps biological comparison here) than let seared Ahi tuna anywhere near my body, let alone my face. A can of tuna + a package of crackers = a happy Mr Lady.

  • Pumpkin. My BFF Molly just died. Molly is a pumpkin baker. I am just a pumpkin eater. Honestly, pumpkins gross me the hell out. Chock it off to never having carved a pumpkin until I was, like, 27 or something. Anyway, I love pumpkiny food, and bake with pumpkin a LOT, but will only use the plain, unspiced variety of pumpkin goo.


I imagine this list will grow as the day goes on, but for now, that's really all I can think of. The question is, what are you cheap and lazy about?