Two: It is 9:30 exactly, and 2of3 and I are the only people awake. Why, you ask? Was there a carbon monoxide leak? Did I duct tape the other two to their beds? No. We are the only two awake because the other ones are exhausted. See, The Donor works on Friday and Saturday nights, so we never get to have Friday or Saturday nights. We don't do anything. Weekends mean gymnastics and playing outside and that is it. There is never bowling or movies or anything. Because I'm grossly outnumbered, that's why. Well, last night, we said Screw It. We went out. At 9 o'clock last night. Where did we go?
The E.R., that's where.
3of3 decided that she wasn't going to drink anything yesterday. She also did not manage to go pee once all day yesterday. Being grossly outnumbered, I really didn't even notice until 8 last night, right before bed.
"Self," I said, "Self, this doesn't seem right." I emailed my personal physician and then I called the nurse line.
They told me to call an ambulance.
I told them no.
She was fine, really. She was playing and giggling and doing all the things a two year old does; she just couldn't pee. They mud-wrestled me into taking her to the E.R.
And then she peed. It was a very small amount and darker than I would have liked, but she peed. And then she took a big gulp of water.
We went anyway.
At 11 o'clock, she peed again. Since we hadn't actually been seen by anyone yet, I just took her home. Doctors don't like it when you point out the fact that sometimes you can manage you child's health better than they can.
We stopped on the way home for gas station popsicles** (hey, fluid is fluid, you know?) and then we settled in for a movie. A Lord of the Rings movie. Of course, last night was the night I promised the boys Lord of the Rings, and of course they were not letting me off the hook. At 1:30, I gave up and went to sleep. They're all still alive this morning.
Let us pray that the child wakes up with a soaked diaper. Let us ALL pray.
*Except that this means there are 19 days until my birthday. I'd like flowers and chocolates, please.
**If I ever run a gas station, again, I will stock the freezer with Pedialyte Popsicles. You only ever need them at midnight. Someone should have thought of this by now.