The Real World Vancouver

We have re-applied for another year of visas in Ye Ol Canada. The Donor has a work visa, the kids have study visas, and my visa, to paraphrase, says, "May not do anything but sit on your ass and eat Bon Bons. Also, pay taxes. Thank you."

In all seriousness, I have a very restrictive visa. No schooling, no work, no nothing. I am fixin' to change that, though.

I have re-applied with a CHANGE OF STATUS. I am asking Canada, very nicely, with cherries and whipped cream and evenly chopped nuts and stuff, to let me work or let me go to school. Why? Because after 9 years of working and trying to raise a family, dreaming of the day I could just be a full time stay at home momma, I got my wish. For 10 months now, thanks to a visa, I have been forced to stay home.

Dude, I hate it. It's making me crazy.

Well, maybe I do kind of like it, but I have no schedule, no structure, no nothing. I have absolutely no reason to make sure the laundry gets done every day, because god knows I'm going to be here all day again tomorrow.

I have a serious case of I'll-get-to-it-when-I-get-to-it-itis.

Here's where you come in. I think I want to get a job. I want to go to school, too, but I really want a job. A real job. A job that does not involve knowing every vintage of wine, or every variety of scotch, or which regions make the best cigars, or whether sunny side up eggs go better with hash or bacon. (Truth be told, they're all handy to know, especially that last one.)

Read: No restaurants. Ever. EVER AGAIN.

What kind of job should I look for? I have held a random assortment of jobs in my day (here and here and some of them) but I've never had anything careery. I want something careery. For those of you smart enough too lazy to click the links, I'll give you the synopsis of my work history, thereby giving you an idea of what I might be capable of doing:

  • I've done a bunch of Numbery work. I've done accounting for restaurants, balanced books for Bounty Hunters, worked at a bank for a while, etc. I am freakishly good with numbers. And I look crazy hot in a suit.

  • I have waited tables at every god damn end of the restaurant spectrum. Most of those restaurants I have ended up running to some degree, rather quickly. I am a fast learner.

  • Oh, yeah, there was that 2 week gig at the gas station that turned into 2 years. Good times.

  • ...and, I opened and managed an indie video store. With a porn room. Coolest. Job. Ever.


That's it. So, if you were an idiot who never went to college and had squandered away her best years dicking about at pointless yet colorful jobs, where would you start looking in the career-department? And if you tell me to write the Great American Novel, you'd better damn well provide me with the story line. You wouldn't be the first person to say, "Oh, I don't know...just write about stuff. You describe things well." Um, that's not helpful.