J: What are you watching?

Me: Skating with Celebrities.

J: Oh no. No you don't. You will not be one of those women who watches Skating with Celebrities. Nope. No way.

Me: But honey, I'm going to be the president of the PTA. I have to start doing shit like this.

J: No dice. Not this show.

Me: But honey, (moves in a bit closer) my husband is gone all night, every night, and I'm here (moves in a lot closer) all alone, with no one to keep me warm, and I need something, and all I have is terrible network television...

J: (interrupts sultry little explanation) Then get a boyfriend. No Skating with Celebrities.




Five minutes later.

J: Dear god woman. You TIVO'd American Idol? I want a divorce.