chick penalized for not being a fat-ass

Seriously. Don't these boys have anyone better to pick on?

I love this comment:

"Robby Gordon accused Danica Patrick of having an unfair advantage in the Indianapolis 500 and said Saturday he will not compete in the race again unless the field is equalized.
Gordon, a former open-wheel driver now in NASCAR, contends that Patrick is at an advantage over the rest of the competitors because she only weighs 100 pounds. Because all the cars weigh the same, Patrick's is lighter on the race track."


Maybe someone should tell him to loose some weight.

I told you all that to tell you this...

My kids are figuring out time. B can read a clock. T is almost there. They have not yet today stopped asking me what time we are leaving.

"How many minutes 'til we go, mom?"

"Now how many?"

"Mom mom mom?"

For you newer parents with young children, here are two very effective ways I thought up to combat this:
  1. Gauge minutes by something they know. 30minutes = one episode of Dora. Answer how long in Dora's (or blue's clues or whatever they like.) We'll go in two Dora shows. Hours turn into videos. 2 hours = "You know when you watch The Incredibles? That's how long until we go..one time watching that movie."
  2. Days are hard for little kids. It does no good to tell them they'll go to Grandma's in 3 days. They won't get it. But they do understand going to sleep. "How long 'til we go to Grandma's?" gets answered "You have to go to bed 3 times, and then we'll go." As they get older it turns into "3 sleeps".

Trust me. It works. And it teaches them to count. And it keeps them from nagging you constantly, which makes your life much, much easier.

underwear

My husband's cousin is getting married next month, and today is her bridal shower. I wasn't planning on going since I'm moving in 4 days and need to pack, but alas, I caved.

The theme of her party is lingerie. This presents some serious challenges for me. First, I despise spending as much time as I have thinking about my relatives having sex. Second, I own 2 bras and maybe 5 pairs of panties. I am not a big fan of the undergarment. Never have been. The only time I use them regularly is during pregnancy, and those of you who have gone through a pregnancy understand why. Needless to say, I have never ever purchased a single lingerie garment. I'm just not that kind of girl. So, I have absolutely no idea what to get. She was supposed to have registered at V-Secret, but they don't have any record of it.

Argh.

Anywho, long story short, I gave up pretty quickly. I decided to stick to what I do know. I ran down to the sex shop in the neighborhood and got her some strawberry flavored body dust and a little feather duster, some chocolate body paint and a pair of racy dice.

My logic behind this is....
You spend all this time getting yourself into what amounts to a few pieces of string, throw on some makeup that accentuates those shreds of fabric, pull your hair up, maybe pop on some high heels shoes, and after the hour or so it takes to get all this together, five minutes later it's all crumpled on the the floor. What's the point?

I hope she likes what I got her. I'm really just looking out for her interests.

my baby graduated today!

OK, sometimes I am a dork. I'll admit it. But you try seeing your little baby looking this handsome and not goo a little bit.

The ceremony was nice. They sang a few songs and then all said their favorite part of ECE. T's was the pledge of allegiance and the Teller Tiger promise (the school motto). Then came diplomas, and cake after in the lunch room.

It was sweet. He was very proud.








>

P.S. His teacher think it's hilarious that I have never once in my life said the pledge of allegiance, and it is my sons favorite thing.


I found another quiz (thanks to World Wide Rant).

I'm a little sad, I really wanted to be a sociopath, but here I am, a....




Bitch-Slap
You are 42% Rational, 14% Extroverted, 85% Brutal, and 28% Arrogant.
You are the Bitch-Slap, the hallmark response of any abusive husband! You are more intuitive than others, focusing more on feelings than rational explanations, and you are also probably very brutual because you care more about yourself than the well-being of others. As most of us know, brutality combined with emotion often leads to BITCH-SLAPPING, which is why you are called "The Bitch Slap". (This does not mean you are emotional, only that you are more affected by emotions than rationality when making decisions.) Another trait you possess is that you are very humble, which could mean you are insecure because very few people are brutal AND humble. Not only that, but you are also rather introverted, and any tendencies towards brutality you possess may also result from the fact that you bottle up your emotions and don't show them to others until you explode in rage. Most likely, however, you are not a VIOLENT person, just someone who is rather selfish. At any rate, being a bitch-slap does not necessarily mean you will abuse your spouse; it only means you are rather intuitive, uncaring toward others, brutal, introverted, and possibly insecure.


To put it less negatively:

1. You are more INTUITIVE than rational.

2. You are more INTROVERTED than extroverted.

3. You are more BRUTAL than gentle.

4. You are more HUMBLE than arrogant.

Take it yourself, here.