Classified

Wanted: Straight up martini, preferably Vodka with 3 olives, for candlelight tapas in hidden-away bars with leather coaches and live jazz. Sophisticated conversation, socio-political revolution and sneers at those fruity martini drinkers all included.








You Are a Chocolate Martini


You're an elegant drunk, who only likes the best bars and the most expensive drinks.
A bit of a cheapskate, you're likely to mooch ten dollar drinks off both friends and strangers. You should never: Drink and dash. You're gonna get caught leaving someone with the tab!Your ideal party: A posh celebrity party you crash, with an open bar.

Your drinking soulmates: those with a Classic Martini personality

Your drinking rivals: those with a Blueberry Martini personality

What Flavor Martini Are You?


I honestly cannot say I have ever read a more accurate description of myself. Thanks, MommyTime, for the link. Of course we had the same result.

Just another Memey Wednesday?

It's been a busy week here at Chez Mr Lady, what with 13 hours of birthday parties crammed into a 72 hour period. Which doesn't actually sound like a lot, but throw a toddler into that equation? Yikes. I missed a few days of posting, so I guess it's official. Blog 365 has given me back my toothbrush and my tampons, and we are SO over.

Marge's meme challenge for this week was too good to pass up, however. I was going to wait until next Monday to post it in keeping with my little theme, but if this chic has taught me anything, it's to do what I want.
TOPIC: Product Testimonials - In each of the following places, what is your most-beloved item or product? Why should I have one too?

  • Kitchen

  • Bathroom

  • Bedroom

  • Laundry Room

  • Car

  • Desk/Office

  • Garage / Yard


Nobody really likes infomercials, do they? But when a good friends tells you about a product that has changed their life, you think twice.

Kitchen: Baking Soda. We all know it takes the stank outta yo fridge, but did you know that if you accidentally hit 23:50 instead of 2:35 on the microwave when you're trying to make popcorn, that all you have to do it put a little dish of Baking Soda in there after you have put out the flames, sent the firemen home and scraped the remnants of something that was once edible out of the magic box, and the smell will go away? It takes a few days, but shit works, yo. Also, if you decide at 1:28 am that you really want mac and cheese, and then at 5:41 remember that you put some noodles on to boil, that all you have to do is make a paste of Baking Soda and water, smear it all over the burnt pan bottom, and those black crusties will more or less wipe out the next day? Did you also know my house is a walking fire hazard? Now you do. That same paste will take the yuckiest stains off a stove top, or the tile on the floor, or wherever.

Bathroom: Lysol Power Toilet Bowl Cleaner. Why? Not because it's green or safe or non-toxic or anything; I just love the smell of it. Like, LOVE the smell of it. Like, if they made air fresheners in Lysol Power Toilet Bowl Cleaner fragrance, I'd buy them all.

Bedroom/Desk/Office: These are my daughter's favorite places to make her art. Her mediums? Ballpoint Ink and Sharpie. My secret weapon? Fucking Aquanet. Aquanet will take any ink-based stain out of anything. ANYTHING. You wash her favorite dress, dry it, and then realize she's drawn a heart and the word FART on the skirt? Wet it, Aquanet it, wash it. NO MORE INK. You find that she's written her ABC's all over the wall with your super permanent Sharpie? Aquanet and a scrubbie. GONE. I find that the cheaper the hairspray, the better it works. You want one, like Aquanet, with a really high alcohol content, high enough that you'd consider drinking it if you were hard-up enough. Honorable mention: Pledge. Because it smells like my house in the 70's with wood paneling on the walls. That's all.

Laundry Room: Vinegar. Actually, I could put vinegar under each of these categories. I clean everything with vinegar. It deodorizes, it sanitizes, it KILLS MOLD. And it brightens your laundry. And it keeps blacks black, which is very very important to Little Ms. Emo Robert Smith Wannabe over here. I put a huge chug of vinegar in every load of laundry that I wash, and if I skip it, I can totally tell afterwards. Otherwise, I totally, whole-heartedly swear by Tide and Downy. Accept no substitutes.

Car: That's just funny. The only thing that could have saved my car would having been the black market. I hear children fetch a good price these days. The best thing I have found for the car is a good Detailer. Other than that, the car version of Febreeze is actually very nice and does not make the knives go through my sinuses the way indoor Febreeze does. I have weird allergies.

Garage: Coke. A can of coke. Scrub scrub scrub. Works every time. Why am I still drinking that stuff?

Yard: The wind has always cleaned my yard more effectively and thoroughly that I ever could.

I think that's it. I should also mention that I cannot and will not do without the following: Mr Clean Magic Erasers, Clorox Bleach pens, WD-40, an iron and Dawn. Any grease-based stain in the world (oil, candle, whatever) can be removed from anything with WD-40, an iron and Dawn. Just sayin'.

(I realized right after I typed this and hit publish that Marge didn't actually ask for cleaning tips, per se, just favorite gadgets. But, see, when I read it I was all, "OOOoooo, a whole post about my favorite cleaning products? REALLY? Eeeek!" Because I get all hot under the collar for cleaning products. Seriously. I'm kind of obsessed. Now you all think I'm totally hot, don't you?)